Safety Planning

Suggestions for increasing safety while you are in the relationship.

  • Have important telephone numbers available to your children and your self.
  • Tell your neighbors about the violence and ask them to call the police if they hear suspicious noises coming from your home.
  • List four places where you can go if you have to leave your home quickly.Leave extra money, car keys, clothes and copies of documents with a friend of family member you can trust.
  • To ensure safety and independence keep change for phone calls with you at all times; open your own savings account; rehearse your escape route with a support person; review your a safety plan every three months.
  • If you decide to leave bring as many items from the following checklist with you.

Items to Take Checklist

Birth certificates for yourself and children
Social Security cards
School and medical records
Money, bank books and credit cards
Keys - house/car/office
Driver's license and registration
Change of clothes
Welfare identification
Passport, Green Card, work permits
Divorce papers
Lease/house deed
Mortgage payment book, current unpaid bills
Insurance papers
Address book
Pictures, jewelry, items of sentimental value
Children's favorite toys and/or blanket

Suggestions for increasing safety when the relationship is over.

  • Change the locks; install metal doors, a security system, smoke detectors and outside lighting.
  • Inform your neighbors that your partner no longer lives with you and ask them to call the police if he is observed near your home or your children.
  • Tell people who take care of your children the names of those who have permission to pick them up.
  • Identify a friend at work that you can tell about your situation and ask her/him to screen your calls.
  • Avoid stores, banks etc. that you used when living with your partner.
  • Obtain a temporary restraining order and keep it on or near you at all times.
  • If you feel down or ready to return to a potentially abusive situation call Safe Haven at 203-575-0036 for support or attend our support group to gain support and strengthen your relationships with other people.